


Therapy

by Lilablassblau



Category: Castle
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotp, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5073826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilablassblau/pseuds/Lilablassblau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 'The Nose' Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito go to therapy. It's not going as smoothly as everybody hopes it would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to 8.5, and it will be outdated soon I guess, but until then that's how I solve things. My thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta detective_rysposito.

"So, Detectives-,-"

"Sergeant; he is the Detective!"

"Oh come on now, seriously? Any time you want to stop, just lemme know."

"As soon as I can sit without pain again."

"It was an accident. I apologized."

"Like taking my slot was?"

"Don't hold back, man. Just get it out of your system. Anything else you would like to add?"

"So glad, you have asked. I have a list, it's called ‘Ten years of honeymilk.'"

"How extremely witty, I wonder why no girl sticks around forthat ray of sunshine."

"Well, at least I don't bend over for literally everybody."

"Oh, for fuck's sake..."

"Gentleman!" Doctor Burke's voice was loud, firm and accepted no talking back. He leaned forward, holding out his arms, interrupting the two men effectively. One, Detective, no, Sergeant Javier Esposito leaned back with a sneer, an eyeroll, then crossed his arms. The other, still only Detective Kevin Ryan, frowned, while leaning forward and glaring holes at Burke's carpet.

"Okay, let's address the elephant in the room. Your colleague passed the exam, while you didn't. Kevin, that must sting. It would be completely understandable if you felt a little resentment for it."

It was quiet, then finally, there was a small "No!"

To which Esposito snorted. "Yeah sure, my ass says otherwise!"

"For a 100th time, It was an accident. I apologized!"

"Like you always do, when you fuck up!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it means!"

Doctor Burke leaned back again and pulled out his planner. Quickly, he skipped over his schedule and then filled in the next appointments. This could take some time.

****************************

Three weeks had passed since the results came through. Three weeks of the worst fight the 12th had to see yet. It was only rivaled by Roach’s falling out, when Espo and Beckett had ended up suspended after Ryan had gone to the Cap. Back then it had looked grim, but they had pulled through.

Now, there was no bitter silence, but bitching and snapping and oh yeah, it all started with that weird ass-slapping. Although the female audience did at least appreciate the scenery and yeah, some guys as well, but all in all it gritted on everybody's nerves. So, when the Captain finally had enough and sent them to a therapist, no one actually hassled them for it, but there was a collective sigh of relief that help was on its way. That was until the first session and they just picked up where they had left the last day.

'Maybe first session', someone pointed out, but after the third and still no clear skies to be seen, even the ever optimistic LT got wrinkles on his forehead. Especially, when Espo decided to forgo all pretense and set up a Sarge-meeting, leaving a glaring partner behind.

Said partner stared at the partner's back, but as soon as he figured no one watched, it switched to a miserable look everybody hated to witness. In the beginning, Ryan gave as good as he could towards Esposito, sure, and sometimes he was dorky, but he was also one of the best damn Detectives they had and well, nice to a default and just so very likeable. So, seeing him closing up to the jabs of his colleague, leaving out rounds at the Old Haunt and starting to eat alone at his table, it sucked.

But Cops were stoic and talking it out was not their strongest suit. And no one wanted to get in between this epic Roach-spat. Eventually, they would come around, right?! Like they always did. Maybe the fourth time was the charm? But just as Ryan got up to go the session, Espo announced he would rather join some of the guys for a night out.

"What about our..."

"You go ahead, buddy. You enjoy that touchy feeling stuff way more anyway and maybe you at least learn something." Ryan's mouth still hung open, but then he just snapped his mouth shut and stalked out, eyes on the ground.

Scott and Mac, two of the more seasoned Detectives of the 12th, had watched the exchange, then shook their head at their fellow colleague. "Phew, Espo..." Esposito looked up, glaring at curly headed Scott, who hold up his hands in defense. They headed out, wisely changing the topic, shoving some beer into Espo's hand and then started their night out.

After the first awkward minutes, and with beer in all of them, Espo seemed to enter his wistful phase, more accurately the 'I miss my partner, but am too proud to admit'-phase. And this phase always started of with 'Ryan this' and 'Ryan that' and was always followed by a 'before he was lame and ditched me for diapers and couple-weekends'.

And then he went on a long rant why Ryan owed him all the gratitude in the world for showing him the robes. "I mean that guy wears sweater-vests, who does that? I know no other Cop who does that."

He listed all the supposed sins, as it was part of his routine by now, but this night just repeating that list was apparently not enough. Mac rolled his eyes as his partner Scott egged on Espo until the Hispanic got the phone out to send a message to Ryan. "I bet you, he shows up all bright eyed, ready to get back into your good graces." Scott snorted.

"Guys, come on, don't you think that's going a bit too far?" Why he tried, Mac wasn't sure, as Espo just continued to rant about his partner.

"...he wanted to steal this slot from me. Karma, I tell you. I mean I am senior anyway and way more badass, kicking in doors, saving his honeymilk ass..." Okay, honeymilk was funny, the men laughed out loud, even the eldest, level-headed Mac.

"What would being a Sarge help us anyway? He would be a much better research assistant. That way he can't hurt anyone, but drink his stupid sweet coffee, while I get some real work done out there."

Mac sighed. That right there really went too far, now. He really liked the Irishman and yes, also his quirks. "Espo, come fucking on, I like that guy," he tried.

"Yeah? Well, then you can have him, along with his sloppy filing skills, terrible sense of direction and awful aiming."

Had Espo been less drunk, the widen of his colleague's eyes would have warned him of the new arrival, but as it was, he had to turn around to see his partner of ten years standing there, all disheveled, probably jumping into the car after the message right away. On his arms was a sleepy Sarah, so Jenny had to be out. "Uh, Ryan?"

Ryan fished out his phone, not looking up once. "I guess you are not-" he tapped on his phone. "'in need of a pick up'," he read out, shifting his daughter around, looking very exhausted and yeah, embarrassed that he fell for that.

"I -- just me and my boys having a bit of fun," Espo tried weakly, hoping Ryan would at least look up. But no, he first attended to the little girl in his arms, then nodded vaguely in their direction. "Yeah, never knew how much of an amusement I am to you. Thanks for that insight." His lips pressed together into a fine line, obviously determined not to lose it in front of the two-year-old.

He nodded again and then just turned around, hugging his daughter closer. "Why is Uncle Espo angry?"

"It's nothing, sweetie, I'm sure you can play with him another time." And that part really sucked. Sarah staring with her Ryan-blue eyes at her godfather over her Dad's shoulder, confused why they left again after just arriving.

The narrowed eyes and the abrupt goodbye was all Espo needed to know. Kevin was hurt, not pissed or angry, no he felt humiliated and why wouldn't he, when his own partner talked trash about him?

"Uh, awkward," Scott stated.

"Shut up!" Mac snapped before Espo could reply, finally losing his patience with those two idiots. "What the hell, man? One tiny message and no matter that you've been biting each other's heads off, he shows up, with his little daughter no less." He finished his beer and slammed it down. "If anyone actually needs a ride, I'll hail a Cab. Lost my interest in being a member of the ‘bitch-club'."

****************************

The next day, Beckett called him to her office. On her table lay a filled out paper, he recognized Ryan's neat handwriting. "Anything you might want to tell me?"

God, Ryan, what did you do? "So, he ran to Mom..."

"I wish, Espo, that would make it much simpler for me to intervene, but if I just get a letter of resignation I have little to go on."

Espo jumped up. "A letter of resign- of all the stupid things..."

"Sit down, Sergeant," Beckett snapped. She sighed. "And let's try again. And why don't you start at why Kevin is the only one showing up at Burke's appointments?"

"Just this once!"

"Javier, come on, this is ridiculous, we both know that Kevin respects your work and misses his friend badly. If he feels compelled to do this, it is so much more than just 'financial better opportunities'." Esposito growled. This God-damned diva!

"You know, Ryan might not be very forthcoming, Mac however had a few choice words for you and his partner in the breakroom. God-forbid anyone would talk to me about it." She rubbed her nose. "Look, I get it, I'm the Captain, now and you don't want me involved. But I'm also your friend and really Espo? A prank message? And then you are surprised that he shows up to overhear you slamming him and his input in front of colleagues?"

Why was everybody angry at him? Ryan gave as good as he took. "Well, if he would quit being a jealous bitch about it all..."

"Javi, try to stand in his shoes. How would you feel, when your friends rose in ranks, but not you?"

He shrugged. "Shitty," he mumbled.

"You know him better then anyone of us, Kevin picks and tears at any perceived mistake until it's fixed or bleeds. He is not you. He doesn't have the vast resources of Espo-confidence, but he makes it up by Irish stubbornness, a great sense of humor, endless loyalty and a knack for details none of us can compare to." Beckett caught Esposito's eyes and shook her head, when she still saw anger. "He is a great cop and right now, he needs his partner to remind him of that instead of being dragged through the mud."

****************************

"I was surprised to receive your call, Javier. Please, have a seat." Doctor Burke gestured at the empty chair.

"Ryan did the last session?"

"I can't discuss details of that in our meeting, but yes, he was here. Twice actually. You have a remarkable partner there," Burke said and watched his patient, who shrugged. "You disagree?"

"Well, he has some upsides."

"Some? Talking about understatement. Why only some?"

There were those crossed arms again. "Well, if he is not fetching coffee or doing his little research projects, he is either busy shooting me or trying to steal my slots. He used to be ok-ish in Madden, but Mr. Family-man forgot about that as well."

"Okay, there were several things in there, I'd like to address. Let's start with the last bit. Am I correct to assume you miss your best friend?" Espo shrugged. Some best friend he was. Always at home. "I take that as a yes!" Again, a shrug. Man, Ryan was so much better at that. "And the first part is a pretty harsh evaluation of his efforts. If I would get those grades, I might be..."

"He resigned. Some partner he is. Just leaving me hanging..."

"Phew, Javier, I have to say, you are not making it easy on him. You belittle his input, but also expect him to stay where he is right now. I remember at one of your last sessions, you complained that someone can't deal with rejection and change well. Are you sure it's Detective Ryan?"

***********************

Taking a deep breath, Espo rang. It was not his partner, who opened, but a head shaking Jenny Ryan. "He is not here, Javi," she said and turned around to go back inside, leaving the door open. "Well, are you coming?" Jenny called and Espo took a deep breath. Be brave.

Jenny set him up with a coffee and they sat down at the kitchen table. "He is working," she softly explained. "As he was before the exam," she added.

"Another security gig?"

With a tiny smile, she shook her head. "Not quite, he got a permanent spot at an upper scale Bar in the meat-packing district. Very hip, but also in dire need of some well maintained bar that is not permanently hackled by snotty 20-somethings and willing to pay well for it. Kevin seems to fit the profile."

Espo fiddled with his Cup. He had not even known Ryan had started that. "How are you financially?"

To that Jenny crossed her arms and glared. "We get by," she replied, willing to defend her husband to anyone. And how could he ever resent Ryan this? A loving home, people that had his back no matter what and were actually willing to offer Javi great coffee, no matter how bad it was between them. "He should be closing up in two hours," she added. "It's called 'The cleaver'."

************************

"Oy, funny guy, get your feet off of my bar, now!"

A bearded twenty-something guy in too tight pants stopped his dancing routine and stared down at the caller, who just looked back very unimpressed until he climbed down again. "Man, I told you, don't piss off the bartender," the friend of beard called, snorting out some South American beer. "Two nights ago I saw him take down a guy twice his size."

Espo looked around the bar. It looked very cozy, with the usual DIY-charm those hip things tended to have. Ryan could be heard, but not seen. So, he crossed the room until he finally saw Ryan cleaning some tables. "We are closing up, buddy," was the first thing out of his mouth, not even turning around to look at Espo.

"Kevin, can we -"

Now, he did turn, some empty bottles in his hands and his lately trademark frown. "If you are here for another round in the ring, Esposito, I'm tired, not in the mood and want to get home." Ryan shoved by him.

"You quit," he called at his back, but Ryan didn't even stop, when he replied, "Well not that different from fetching coffee, is it now?"

"Ryan, bro, come on, can we talk?"

"I'm busy!"

"I can wait!"

Ryan half turned, still not meeting his eyes. "Suit yourself," he then said.

The next hour, the bar emptied and Ryan finally stood at his table, putting a beer down. "Okay, talk!" Espo winced at the resigned tone, as if his opinion didn't matter anyway.

"I miss our Madden-nights," he tried, to which the other just cocked his head.

"Yeah? Isn't it boring to play against an ok-ish guy?"

"Ryan, that night-"

"-careful, Esposito. Tread lightly, as little honeymilk me could turn sour pretty fast."

He hang his head. "What happened to us, man? We used to be so tight. You and me, against the rest of the world," Esposito tried again to which Ryan just shrugged.

"You mean, when I didn't interrupt your awesomeness?"

"Now, come on, man, you know I was just being an idiot, right?!" Again, a shrug. "I was out of line." Another shrug, followed by a little nod.

"I'm sorry." Kevin eyed him carefully, then nodded once more.

"Okay, was that all?" With a rising panic Esposito saw Kevin get up again.

"No, it was not. I don't want you to quit, man," he hissed and Kevin slumped back on the bench, looking utterly defeated. "Listen, I get it, you have more to worry for than some pretty title. That, and you working your ass off here, it just threw you off the loop. I mean, you are one of smartest guys I know."

That finally got some interest in his partner. "Next time you'll get there and I'm just warming the space up until then."

"I don't know, Javi," Kevin crushed his optimism and Esposito suppressed a groan. "Help me out here. This is not you, you being jealous, or even petty over that and surely not that long. So, what happened?"

"You are all moving up," he suddenly blurted out. His eyes nervously looking anywhere, but Esposito. He saw a blush forming on his pale face. "Beckett is Captain, you are Sergeant, even Karpowski got her own little team. I'm still the guy that skips through videos for hours - Honeymilk," his voice got quieter and quieter. "Even Castle gets more kudos for his work. I think I'm good at what I do, but for you, and the whole damn rest I was, still am and apparently always will be the low man on the totem pole."

"Kev, come on..."

Kevin looked at him directly. "Allow me some dignity and don't end this with pity, pal. I'm a grown man, not your unofficial mascot."

Esposito sighed. "Kevin, let me finish?" Crossing his arms, Kevin leaned back and gestured at him to continue.

"I do get angry at you, sure. Cause you are my brother. And that's what brothers do. Yeah, you screwed up a bit, but to be honest, man, I just miss you and I thought us passing that exam, you and I would have those occasional courses at 1PP together. You could relax a bit and you and I, we could spend more time again. You and me, Madden, beer..." He trailed off, fished in his pocket, and got out a paper.

"Anyway, I asked, in two months, there is another date and then you can pass." He slid the paper on the table and Ryan looked at it. "You put me on it?" Esposito shrugged. "It's what partners do, right?"

A tiny smile appeared on Ryan's face. Then he nodded, then the smile got wider. "Javi?" With baited breath, he leaned forward. "Did you just tell me that you missed me?"

Esposito shut up in his seat. "Seriously, dude, that's what you take from there?!" The smile became a grin.

"You totally did, man!"

"Well, I guess, in some ways, you are usefull," Esposito tried to amend.

"In some?" Ryan frowned again.

"Come on, don't make me do this!"

"Do what?" He may have looked innocent, but Espo had known since a long time that Kevin Ryan was anything but innocent.

"Ryan!"

"Yes, Esposito?"

With a dramatic eyeroll, Esposito rushed out. "You are a great cop, and a valuable teammember." Now, Kevin raised his eyebrows. "And I miss you!"

Ryan jumped up and pulled the stunned cop into a hug. The guy at the cashier shook his head at them.

"Ryan..."

"I've missed you, too," Ryan mumbled against his chest and something melted in the Veteran to hear the careful admission. And there was only that guy behind the bar and he already thought they were a bit odd, so Javi reached out and put his arms around his partner as well, pulling him a bit closer.

********************

Castle looked out of Beckett's office-window, seeing Ryan and Espo standing in each other's space again, elbowing each other and yes, fist-bumping.

"Glad to see Roach back in business," he said with a chuckle, when Espo attempted to grab the last Donut from Ryan, who just stuffed it into his mouth. Kate laughed out loud.

"Yeah, it took a bit, but if a relationship means something to you, you pull through every rough patch you encounter." Castle looked at his wife, both smiling at each other.

Outside, Espo sat back down, while Ryan enjoyed his last bites. "I only let you, because you are stressed out about that result. Now, sit down, you'll get it soon enough and we have a murder to solve." With a sigh, Ryan fell back on his seat.

"And what if I don't make it, bro?"

"Then I'll drag you there again."

Ryan huffed. "Seriously, Javi, what if I am just not good enough?"

Javier shot up. "Stop it, right now."

"But-,"

He put a finger over Ryan's lips. "I don't wanna hear it. You are my partner and my partner is more than good enough for that stupid Sarge-title, official or not."

There was that fond look on Ryan again, so Espo pushed him down on the seat again. "And, now we get back to work." Ryan nodded a bit disgruntled, but when Esposito looked at his partner again, he smiled at him and just, very quickly squeezed Ryan's shoulder before he went to his desk.

"Uh, and Ryan?" Ryan looked up from his address-list. "Tonight, no matter what, drinks are on me," Espo added.


End file.
